When they take everything away

You wake up and it feels like you've been through heavy surgery yesterday, or at least 1th of January after a massive all-you-can-drink party.
You just realize that last night you actually only broke up with your boyfriend / girlfriend.
You start thinking if it will ever come back, and if so, will it ever be the same...
I'm telling you: it won't. It's never the same.
You wish you haven't done it? Well, it's too late, my friend.
The feeling of this day will always threaten you from the back. You look in the mirror and begin to realize why your eyes feel so dry. You wish you could cry, but you can't, and you keep staring into nothing -you lost your sight- waiting for that miraculous phone call. The phone will never ring. If it will, it will be your colleague calling to tell you he bla bla bla, and bla bla bla. You lost your hearing. And you want to tell him, or something else, that would shut him up, but he can't hear you. You lost your voice.
You want to light up a cigarette, but the lighter button is just too hard to press today. You lost your strength.
And so, you keep wandering in your house, and room with room -that is if you have more than one room- you discover emptiness and loneliness. You discover the taste of a new life.
Cheer up emo kid!

Dreams of a lost mind

It happened during the Second World War. Me and two of my friends ended up working as housekeepers in a polish city under Nazi occupation. One day, thanks to a coincidence I met the Führer himself. He recognized me as not being part of the Untermensch (subhuman race), in fact, seeing my blond hair and blue eyes, he somehow wanted to protect me. He wanted to do it indirectly, by tying some kind of beige thread on my finger, so the executioners would recognize me and let me go. I was his protected child. I felt safe.
One day going home from work I got trapped in a crowd of Jews in their way to the gas chambers. I tried to escape this chaos; I tried to show one of the soldiers that I have 'The Thread'...but guess what...it had disappeared. I got pushed to 'the showers'. It was the longest walk of my life. I couldn't stop and take a breath. There was neither time, nor air for that. I was part of the crowd, part of this stream of screams and hopes that ended up in history.


PS.: I know these days haven't been the easiest, but come on...not that much of a holocaust :P

Revelation

She now knows that she's not a good storyteller. She gives up too easy. She now knows that she can't even work as a low-responsibility employee. She gives up easy. She now knows that she can't have real friends. She gives up too easy.
She should do something more useful, they say. She doesn't like to work, they say. She's a loser, they think, but they never say. Why? What are they afraid of? Are they afraid of losing a loser so-called friend who is always there if needed, who always has a penny if there's one missing, who always has a smile for you even when things aren't exactly good? It is easier to shut up, and take advantage of what's left.
Suck it all out until the last fucking drop. That's the way things work nowadays. Get used to it, loser!
Is it time for shut-down? 1:30, no collapse.

Hell. I guess you just can't call a revelation something that you've known for a long time. I better look for a new title.

Disappointment...

Big plans.Big expectations.They always lead to disappointment.That's what I always thought. I don't know what made me think otherwise this time...
Planning, imagining, shopping, packing, waiting at the airport with great enthusiasm.Traveling, admiring, all perfect, or almost. Arrival. First impressions. Second hand impressions. Experience. Rage. A walk on the beach, dry tears. A hard decision. Yes. Packing again. No turning back. No...turning...back...Final impressions. Saying Goodbye. A trauma.
And once again I learned that there is no exception from the rule.

*Image credits: Gal Hunor Lehel 2009