When they take everything away

You wake up and it feels like you've been through heavy surgery yesterday, or at least 1th of January after a massive all-you-can-drink party.
You just realize that last night you actually only broke up with your boyfriend / girlfriend.
You start thinking if it will ever come back, and if so, will it ever be the same...
I'm telling you: it won't. It's never the same.
You wish you haven't done it? Well, it's too late, my friend.
The feeling of this day will always threaten you from the back. You look in the mirror and begin to realize why your eyes feel so dry. You wish you could cry, but you can't, and you keep staring into nothing -you lost your sight- waiting for that miraculous phone call. The phone will never ring. If it will, it will be your colleague calling to tell you he bla bla bla, and bla bla bla. You lost your hearing. And you want to tell him, or something else, that would shut him up, but he can't hear you. You lost your voice.
You want to light up a cigarette, but the lighter button is just too hard to press today. You lost your strength.
And so, you keep wandering in your house, and room with room -that is if you have more than one room- you discover emptiness and loneliness. You discover the taste of a new life.
Cheer up emo kid!

2005 jan 24

Szúró érintésem bőröd felhasítja, savas csókom torkod kimarja,hörgő leheletem elmédet megvakítja, de gyöngéd harapásom lelkedet meglágyítja.Szerető ölelésem fájdalmad eltaszítja.De mielőtt észrevennéd én meghalnék, s e bűnös világra fekete tüskés átkot eresztenék.Hűtlen karmaim e halott várost eltemetnék.

Dreams of a lost mind

It happened during the Second World War. Me and two of my friends ended up working as housekeepers in a polish city under Nazi occupation. One day, thanks to a coincidence I met the Führer himself. He recognized me as not being part of the Untermensch (subhuman race), in fact, seeing my blond hair and blue eyes, he somehow wanted to protect me. He wanted to do it indirectly, by tying some kind of beige thread on my finger, so the executioners would recognize me and let me go. I was his protected child. I felt safe.
One day going home from work I got trapped in a crowd of Jews in their way to the gas chambers. I tried to escape this chaos; I tried to show one of the soldiers that I have 'The Thread'...but guess what...it had disappeared. I got pushed to 'the showers'. It was the longest walk of my life. I couldn't stop and take a breath. There was neither time, nor air for that. I was part of the crowd, part of this stream of screams and hopes that ended up in history.


PS.: I know these days haven't been the easiest, but come on...not that much of a holocaust :P